Moms Talk Q&A: The Dangers of Drinking & Driving

Moms Talk Q&A is a forum designed to give hard-working parents a place to ask questions and have an open and honest discussion about the issues they face. We provide the questions-- you and the chime in with the answers.

This week's Moms Talk Q&A focuses on the dangers of drinking and driving during the upcoming high school social event season.

With high school prom, graduations, and parties right around the corner, kids are getting excited about planning their next big event. That excitement comes with little worry, unless you are a parent of one of these teens.

Q: At what point do we talk to our kids about drinking, driving and other dangers associated with these festivities?  

Should parents condone supervised, illegal drinking to keep underage drinkers out of the car?

Where does the parent draw the line?

A: Parents should first and foremost communicate any fears or worries they have with their child, and verbalize concerns face to face.

Some parents allow drinking, others do not, but the decisions lie with the individual teen and their caregivers. 

Regarding prom night, it's important to remember to educate kids about the dangers of underage drinking, as well as the consequences they may face if caught. Keep the lines of communication open with other parents and be sure your child has a clear plan for the night.

I would make sure my son is comfortable calling me for help if needed, and I think most parents would do the same, no questions asked. Of course, this is all easier said than done, and these types of situations are different for each individual.

No matter what parents allow (or don't allow) communicating openly with our teens is the best way to ensure their safety and success. For this mom, it's the only way.

A: As a mom of two younger children, all of these conversations have already begun. I try to focus on peer pressure because it always starts young with small things like:

• How you dress
• How you behave 
• Making good choices 

Recently as the world celebrated the life of Elvis Presley, a window came open to a conversation that moved in a direction that I wouldn't have imagined.

"How did he die?" I did not lie, so I was clear.

"He died because he took medicine when he wasn't supposed to and too much of it," I answered.

I also thought the time to talk about drugs in general was appropriate so I went on (along with my trusted partner and husband). None of this is a judgment on any person in particular. I explained that there is a lot of temptation and sometimes people just want you to do what they do so they feel better about it.

I would also like to point out that these conversations are never ever easy to have and the language in which they are discussed should be age appropriate. I answer their questions as best as I can in hopes that they will find the understanding therein. 

Parents worry, constantly, about what their children are being exposed to.  Prom night has a lot of folklore attached to it (spiking the punch, losing your virginity). I still remember these topics being discussed openly among my peers at prom time.

These tips might help:

• Hop on the MADD Web site for guidance.

• It is always best to offer to be the chauffeur or hire one (if affordable).

• Offer your kids a little additional cash in case they find themselves in a jam and need to call a cab.

• Be on call to pick them up "no matter" what they have done or where they are--leaving any disciplinary conversation for the next day.

• Alcohol should not be condoned under any circumstances--underage drinking is illegal and teenagers cannot metabolize alcohol. It also removes the liability from you as a parent if any child should become ill or get hurt during the consumption or afterward.

I am aware that there is an opinion that allowing children, and they are children, to drink alcohol under supervision appears to be safer, but it will not prevent them from sneaking around to do it elsewhere. The bottom line--educate often and early, leave the line of communication open and be nosey, inquisitive and sensitive.

Just my two cents.