Often times, we hear the phrase "family values", and wonder how people across the globe can claim strength in this area when we think they clearly do not. Americans are often accused of having weak family values, because we move far away from our home base in pursuit of our own goals and happiness. Likewise, Asians are accused of having weak family values, because of their willingness to send their children overseas at a young age, in pursuit of a perceived quality education.
It's important to realize that all cultures have family values which meet at several points with similarities as often as they diverge with disparities. However, while some family values are rooted in the amount of time we spend together on a daily basis, others are rooted in respect and deep historical tradition.
Our host family program is a wonderful cultural meeting point, because it allows American families to begin to understand the depth of other cultures. Likewise, it allows other cultures to begin to understand the many branches of American families.
For example, in Asian cultures, family values are held in high esteem, just not in the way Americans are programmed to understand. If you remember anything from your history courses throughout high school and college, the philosophy "Confucianism" might sound familiar to you. Many Asian cultures derive family values based on this philosophy, as well as adaptations of it. With Confucianism as a backdrop to family values, respect in the form of the five relationships and filial piety holds the key. For a refresher, the five relationships are: father and son; ruler and ruled; husband and wife; older brother to younger brother; friend and friend. Within these relationships there is a hierarchy which is followed. These family values are certainly not warm and fuzzy in the American sense, but they are rooted very strongly in tradition and respect. Thus, we see businessmen in Asia bow to one another. We hear adult students refer to their young teacher respectfully as "Teacher", (teachers are extremely revered in many Asian countries), and we hear stories of wives going above and beyond for their husbands. Children are expected to attend school sometimes well into the evening to prove their educational perseverance, (which is a deeply held Confucian tenet), and deference to their parents and teachers. These values are upheld at the family level, as well as throughout relationships in society.
In the United States, we are programmed a little differently, though we do bring forth the history and traditions of each of our families' heritage culture. Above most else, many of us value our quality time together. We often eat dinner together while talking about our day, we spend weekend time together, go on family vacations together, and gather our families over the holidays to share stories and great food. While respect is important, it is not usually the glue that holds our family foundation together. We often say that we want each other to be "happy", which is an important value that can stretch across both individual and collective goals.
Today's international student landscape is changing drastically, as parents are sending their children over as young as their early teens. While it can seem strange to American families to grant freedom at such a young age, this too is a part of Asian family values. It does not reflect the same wish for "happiness", but rather austere sacrifice and reverence for educational opportunity.
If you find learning about diverse family values interesting, you might be a wonderful host family candidate! Please contact us today and ask how you can quality for this paid opportunity to help an international student thrive in America.
CONTACT US: homestay@everydayinteraction.com
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